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Yichud
Paul Signac Dimanche

Seclusion of an unmarried couple</br>is prohibited by Jewish law

Halakhic sources*
Texts in Jewish law relating to this article:
Bible: Leviticus 18:6
Babylonian Talmud: Kiddushin 80b and Sandedrin 21
Shulchan Aruch: Even HaEzer 22 and 24
* Not meant as a definitive ruling. Some observances may be rabbinical, customs or Torah based.

The prohibition of yichud (Hebrew: איסור ייחוד issur yichud‎, trans. Seclusion), in Halakha (Jewish religious law) is the impermissibility of seclusion of a man and a woman a private area. Such seclusion is prohibited when the man and woman are not married to each other in order to prevent the two from being tempted or having the opportunity to commit adulterous or promiscuous acts.

The laws of yichud are typically followed by Orthodox Jews. Some Orthodox authorities view these laws as so strict that they may not be broken even when a life is in danger. Adherents of Conservative and Reform Judaism do not generally abide by the laws of yichud.

The term "yichud" also refers to a ritual during a Jewish wedding in which the newly married couple spends a period of time secluded in a room by themselves.

Source of the law

There is a prohibition against a man being alone with a married woman. After the rape of King David's daughter Tamar when she was left alone with her half-brother Amnon, David and his high court extended this prohibition to all unmarried girls.[1] These rules are discussed in the Talmud.[2][3]

Laws of Yichud

The laws of yichud provide for strong restrictions on unrelated members of the opposite sex being secluded together, and milder ones for close family members. Different opinions exist regarding application of these laws both in terms of situation and in terms of the individuals involved.

Parent/child

A child and biological parent of the opposite gender may be secluded or even dwell together, with restrictions.

  • A parent and opposite-sex child dwelling together on a permanent basis should sleep in separate rooms.
  • On a temporary basis (such as a hotel), a parent and opposite-gender child may share a room. Though it is preferable for them not to share a bed, if there is no other choice, and both are dressed according to the laws of tznius while in bed, this is permitted. Such a dwelling arrangement should not last longer than 30 days.

Regardless, it is preferable that a parent and a grown child (who has achieved financial independence) dwell separately if a third person (related or not) does not share the dwelling.

Laws that apply to seclusion are stricter for a father and daughter than for a mother and son. This is because a man is more likely to marry a woman a generation or more younger than himself than the other way around. Additionally, while a boy is likely to spend much of his childhood in the presence of his mother, it is more common for a man to be away from his children while they are growing up. In the event that a parent desires a sexual relationship with his/her opposite-gender child, or the child develops such an interest with a parent, seclusion should be avoided.

Siblings

  • Siblings of opposite genders should not live alone together on a permanent basis.
  • If no suitable living arrangements can be made otherwise, dwelling together temporarily is permitted for a maximum of 30 days.
  • An individual is permitted to stay with an opposite-gender sibling if visiting from out-of-town, since this is considered "temporary," though they should stay in a separate rooms.
  • Siblings, including children able to talk, should also refrain from sleeping in the same room.
    • If this is not possible, a mechitza (partition) should stand between their beds.
  • Other relatives (including grandparents, grandchildren, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces, cousins, and those related only by marriage) are treated as non-relatives in relation to all yichud laws.

Unmarried couples

A man and woman who are engaged to be married but are not married may not dwell together under any circumstances, and may not stay together even on a temporary basis, such as in a hotel. An engaged woman that secludes herself with her fiance forfites her ketuba as a virgin. (hilchot ketubot)

Babysitting/caregiving

  • A female over the age of 12 should not babysit a boy 9 or older. A male over the age of 13 should not babysit a girl 3 or older.
  • A person providing care to a dependent adult of the opposite gender may be secluded with that individual for the purpose of caregiving. Even when a same-gender caregiver is available, if the dependent adult prefers the care of the opposite-gender caregiver or otherwise receives better care, this is permitted.

Public/business

  • A man and woman who are not related or married, but are together in a public place, should walk or sit together in a manner differently from that of relatives or spouses. Keeping a greater distance between them is recommended. If, in such an environment, it is known to all around they are not related or married, and such contact can normally be expected (such as in a workplace), no special changes need be made, but care should be taken to avoid accidental physical contact.
  • In a location of business, a male and female may be together for business purposes provided that the location where they are has the potential to be viewed from outside. If the two must hold a private business meeting, it must take place in a room that does not contain any furniture that can be used as a bed (such as a sofa). Also, two or more people should have immediate physical access to the room.
  • Two unrelated, opposite-gender persons may travel in a vehicle together within the local area, but should not take out-of-town trips together, particularly if they are traveling to an area where they are not known to anyone, and will not be able to return on the same day.
  • On a bus, train or airplane, sitting adjacent to a member of the opposite gender is permitted, but many Orthodox Jews follow stringencies to avoid this due to the laws of negiah and tzniut.
  • There are no restrictions on being secluded together momentarily in a temporary environment, such as an elevator. Since elevators are boarded constantly, there is always a chance that anyone could enter without warning.

Negating the prohibition

Seclusion is only prohibited when there is but a lone man present. Additionally, the presence of older children, the man's close female relatives, his wife or a woman and her mother in law would negate the prohibition. In these instances, the presence of the other individuals would serve to provide a check on the man's behavior. One additional, unrelated woman or any number of minors (under 13, unless they are of an age where they can speak, but do not understand the concept of sex) do not negate the yichud laws.

References

  1. Shulkhan Arukh Even HaEzer 22,2
  2. Bavli Kiddushin 80b
  3. Bavli Sanhedrin 21

See also

External links

fa:ایحودja:イフード

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