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The Marcus in his natural habitat.

The Mark in his natural habitat.

[edit] Definition

The Way of the Marcus is a religion that was just recently discovered. It is suspected that it has been around since the late 1980's, but a more specific date of creation is not known. Followers are extremely secretive so not much is known about the religion. It continues to be an "underground" religion. Around the turn of the century, a tell all book was written, but its publication has been tied up in the courts ever since. All that is known about this religion is from the few excerpts leaked to the press, some speculation from religious experts, and from the rantings of a clinically insane man who calls himself Martin Handford (his real name is unknown to this day). In 2004, a newspaper showed interest in finding out more about The Way of the Marcus, and sent in an undercover reporter. She was successful in infiltrating the tight-knit religious community, but after a week she converted and severed all communication. Ultimately, no additional information was gained from this.

[edit] Beliefs

How you live your life determines what happens to you when you die. If you are a good person, you will find the Marcus. If your life is full of sin and wrongdoings, you will find the Mark. The Marcus has the appearance of a human, but he reveals himself differently to every person. After the Marcus appears to you, you will live out the rest of your life in complete happiness.

How to find the Marcus

Persons who achieve Marcusness have the following character traits:

Kind
Respectful
Honest
Hard-working
Ethical
Responsible
Humble
Noble
Good sense of humor
Intelligent
Wise

How to find the Mark

Persons who achieve Mark have the following character traits:

Jealousy
Selfish
Mean-spirited
Devious
Malicious
Bitch-assness

Martyrdom

Many people become martyrs when they are persecuted because of their faith. This is not seen often in Marcusism simply because of the fact that it is not a widely known religion. Since only those who follow the Marcus or Mark know about the religion, there is no one to persecute followers.
Martyrdom is also not highly respected in this faith. As an underground religion, followers of the Marcus believe that martyrdom brings unwanted attention to the faith. In fact, martyrs are not even rewarded for their efforts. It is the belief that those who do kill themselves or get themselves killed because of their faith automatically become a Mark because of the danger it brings to the religion.

The Diet of the Marcus

Food that is considered healthy is formed in a priority pyramid.
Top - Fish
- Fish is considered brain food. It fuels your mind to help you find the Marcus. The more fish you eat, the better chance you have of tracking down the Marcus.
- Fish that you do NOT EAT - Catfish (because they have menstrual cycles), Tilapia (they eat stool)
Second - Vegetables
- Vegetables keep the body energetic in the search for the Marcus.
- You should eat carrots the most because they are a substitute for fish. They help your eyes to better see the Marcus.
Third - All natural wheat bread
- Carbohydrates in wheat bread keep the body moving and healthy.
Fourth - Red meat
- Some is permissible, do not over-indulge.
- No Candy. Eating candy is a sin.

Never skip breakfast, and always eat three meals a day. When the Marcus was a child, he ate Frosted Flakes every morning, because they're GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEAAAAAATTTT!!!! And so you should do the same. No Trix, because Trix are for kids.

[edit] Creation

At the beginning of time, Waldo knew his wife Carmen Sandiego, and she conceived the Marcus. Carmen and Waldo have no interaction with the world at all. The Marcus, being the first born, got all of the attention and praise. When the Mark was born second, he was mostly ignored. He fell in the shadows of the Marcus who could do no wrong. When the Mark did do something good, the Marcus had already done it...better. After years of bitterness and hate that built up inside of the Mark, he decided that the only way for him to get some love and attention from his parents was to kill the Marcus, and then HE would be the only child. The Mark planned to pierce the Marcus's heart with a stake, which would then distort the perfect bond between the Marcus and their parents, not only physically but symbolically as well. When the Mark tried to kill the Marcus, the Marcus escaped and went directly to his parents for help. Waldo and Carmen finally explained that they had always known that the Marcus and the Mark had supernatural abilities way beyond their own, and while they did not have the ability to stop the Mark, they could help the Marcus evade him. Quickly, Waldo and Carmen educated the Marcus on techniques of how to effectively disappear into society. They told him the only way to defeat his brother was to raise an army of humans, make them immortal after their deaths, and fight the Mark. Then they cast the Marcus down to Earth to begin his work. The Mark had overheard this conversation and began to feel more jealous than he ever had before. Since the Marcus was no longer within his grasp, he planned to murder his parents instead. Before he could, they cast him down to Earth so that the Marcus would have access to him with his army.
Critics of this religion believe that this religion is simply a projection of sibling jealousy. Supporters deny this.

[edit] Rituals

[edit] The Search for The Marcus

One week each year in September (the month the first Where’s Waldo book was released), everyone goes on a long pilgrimage to try to find the Marcus. The celebration includes musicians playing the Where’s Waldo theme song and large banners portraying how different people view the Marcus. The Where’s Waldo book locations are used as a guide for all of the different places where the pilgrimage can begin, such as Hollywood, beaches, and amusement parks. During the pilgrimage, the lives of the Marcusites are different from their everyday lives. To show respect for the Marcus, the only food that is consumed is fish (except catfish and tilapia). If you are female, you will wear a red trench coat and fedora, which is Carmen Sandiego's distinguished garments. If you are male, you will wear a red and white striped shirt and hat with blue pants, which is Waldo's signature attire. One hour every day, after the music has stopped, there is a time for silence and concentration for everyone to focus on their goal of living a good life, which will eventually lead to the Marcus. The purpose of this pilgrimage is to show the Marcus your support and how one day you would like to be his disciple and fight with him against the Mark and his followers in the final battle.

[edit] Freezing Body Ceremony

After you die, you have a traditional funeral. Marcus Liberation Front workers work in the funeral homes. Afterwards, your body is lowered into the ground. The real ceremony takes place in the underground network of tunnels. The casket is lowered down to the feet of ice sculptures of Carmen and Waldo. The Gargoyles are actually the ones taking care of the bodies underground in the catacombs. They never show their face, so humans are not aware of their existence. However, there are accounts of gargoyles in the human population. It is also written in ancient scripture that during the ritual, if the Marcus has not appeared to the individual while he or she was alive, the gargoyles inspect the body and decide whether the individual has found Marcus or Mark. The body is then frozen. It will be preserved and ready for the final battle. The steps for freezing the body are listed below.

[edit] How to Freeze a Body

1. The regular funeral homes pick up the body
2. Strip the body
3. Lay the body into the casket
4. Pour water into the casket
5. Turn on the freezer

[edit] Sacred Texts

Where's Waldo?
Where's Waldo Now?
Where's Waldo? The Great Picture Hunt!
Where's Waldo? In Hollywood
Where's Waldo? The Fantastic Journey

The Marcuses and Marks both believe that the books were written for them. The Marks think the Marcuses are bad, and vice versa. The Marks destroy the bodies of the Marcus followers. The superficial reason for destroying the bodies is because the Marcuses are uppity and rich, but the real reason is so the Marcuses won't be able to fight in the end battle.

[edit] Hymns

Followers of The Way of The Marcus like to gather and sing hymns from time to time, including the Carmen Sandiego Theme Song. It is believed that Marcus began to run around hiding and waiting to be found because of the habits of his mother and father, and this is an ancient song about the whereabouts and sneakiness of Carmen Sandiego.

This version is on YouTube and performed by Rockapella. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuzc4jgwlT8

[edit] Myths

It has been said that a devoted follower of Marcus, whose name is unknown, has seen visions of the final battle between Marcus and Mark after he has died. In this vision, no one was trying to find the Marcus. They didn’t think performing rituals was important, and everyone exhibited characteristics of Mark. As a result, Mark left the battle victorious and the world was destroyed since it was filled with cruelty and sin. After seeing this vision, he brought messages back to his son and explained the significance of performing rituals.

Also, it is believed that an uppercase or a lowercase M is written in Marcuskrit on the side of the person's head. It is not visible to the person or anyone else while he or she is alive. An uppercase 'M' shows that the person has found Marcus. A lowercase 'm' means that the person has found Mark. The Marcus Liberation Front workers are the only ones who know what it means. The Marks have to figure out the meaning so they know what bodies to destroy.

The Crest of Waldo, Marcus' Father

[edit] Relics and Sacred Objects

Followers of the Way of the Marcus believe that objects of the world are divided into two domains: the Sacred and the profane. The following is an explanation of how these domains break down, giving followers of "The Way" a clear-cut perception of sacred objects. As a secretive religion that has not yet made its rise to power, followers of Marcus rely heavily on sacred objects to give them hope.

Any object containing the crest of Waldo, as shown to the right, is considered to be Marcus' prized possession, and is therefore considered sacred.
Any object containing the crest of Carmen Sandiego is also considered sacred, as it came directly from Marcus' mother
Any pin, patch, or printing on clothing containing solely the capital letter "M" is considered sacred, and shows that the individual wearing the clothing is a follower of Marcus.
On the contrary, any pin, patch, or printing on clothing containing lowercase "m" is considered to be evil, as that individual shows support for the Mark.
Any "Where's Waldo" book or "Where in the (insert region here) is Carmen Sandiego" computer game is not only sacred, but are also used as recruitment tools for prospective followers of The Way of The Marcus.
Members of the Marcus Liberation Front all own some sort of object that is symbolic of their commitment and unity as an organization. These objects are all said to have come from the Marcus, and are therefore sacred.

[edit] Symbolism in The Way of The Marcus

It is important to know that The Way of The Marcus is NOT a religion of magic. Followers of The Marcus are able to see the symbolic nature of the religion. The very things that give them hope are the symbols. Some people do not believe that they will be in a search for an actual person that identifies him/herself as "The Marcus." On the contrary, they believe that this search is more representative of the life-long struggle for the qualities that the Marcus represented. In this way, they will be a Marcus, and be on The Marcus' side at the final battle. The caskets that are used for the body are representative of an individual's commitment to the Marcus. These things are symbols representative of the ideals of The Way of the Marcus. These factual aspects of the religion and more are made to seem symbolic so as to make The Way of The Marcus a reality, not a magical religion.
Symbols in The Way of The Marcus also help set aside the authority of the religion, which lies in the Marcus Liberation Front. Those in charge of funeral homes and those working within funeral homes are the ones who are considered the "leaders" of the religion. Because it is a secretive religion, it is difficult to have ordained leaders. The act of freezing bodies is not only literal, but also symbolic of the authority of those involved in the funeral homes. They coordinate the underground lairs, and where to dig into the ground so that the bodies are placed in the perfect spot. The members of the Marcus Liberation Front will one day announce the religion to the world when the battle is about to begin, and they will be the leaders of the fight against the Mark.

[edit] The Main Homie Of Marcus

As Marcus was growning up he had two friends that were really close to him, but as time passed one of the friends did not believe in the Marcus teachings. The two friends' names were Smokey and Juice. Smokey believed in Marcus and all his teachings and became Marcus' man homie. Juice on the other hand started to believe in Marcus' brother Mark, who was a big sociologist who believed that religion came from his surroundings. Juice became jealous with the fact that he was not close to Marcus like Smokey was. So Juice became a believer of Mark and decided that religion did not come from people who had written it for Marcus, but he believed that Mark's beliefs about religion were true. Juice became Mark's main dude and never thought about going back to Marcus.

[edit] The Marcus in the Media

Shortly after the 9/11 terrorist attacks in the United States, one televangelist gave a dramatic comment blaming non-Christians for the events on 9/11. This was televised all over the nation on the 700 Club. Behind the scenes, he secretly gave another known only to MLF members until it was leaked to the media.
"And, I know that I'll hear from them for this. But, throwing the Marcus out successfully with the help of the federal court system, throwing the Marcus out of the public square, out of schools. The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because the Marcus will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make the Marcus mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger at their face and say: 'You helped this happen.'" Jerry Fallwell to members of MLF

[edit] Glossary

Bitch-assness - enviousness, jealousy
Brainfood - Enhances the cognitive abilities of the mind and alerts the body's senses.
Carmen Sandiego - Mother of Marcus and Mark, wife of Waldo.
Casket - sacred vessel which holds the frozen bodies until the final battle.
Final battle - A brawl between the Marks and Marcuses at the end of time.
Gargoyles - Underground workers that preserve frozen bodies.
Marcus - Firstborn son of Carmen and Waldo. It is a Marcusite's lifelong goal to find the Marcus and reach salvation. He is fly.
Marcus Liberation Front - Marcusites who work to preserve bodies for the Marcus followers. Usually in funeral homes and morgues.
Mark - Second son of Carmen and Waldo. Jealous of Marcus. If a Marcusite fails to find the Marcus, they become a Mark.
Mawkus - A derogatory term for a Marcusite
Waldo - Father of Marcus and Mark, husband of Carmen Sandiego.

The Way of The Marcus