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Contents 1 Definition 2 Creation 2.1 Historical Time line 2.2 State of the World 2579 2.3 The Story of A-Rod 2.4 The Monopoly Board 3 Ritual 3.1 Purification Ritual: 3.1.1 Meaning and Purpose of the Purification Ritual 3.1.2 The Telephone Hole 3.2 The Board Ritual 3.2.1 About the Board 4 Ritual Songs 4.1 To Repel Evil 4.2 Purification 4.3 Purification Celebration 5 Life 5.1 Birth 5.2 Entering the Community 5.3 Jobs 5.4 Marriage 5.5 Death 6 A-Rod's Return 7 Core Beliefs 8 A Movement from Within 9 Glossary

[edit] Definition

The Mono-ply of Rod believes in a need for the purification of the land and community, until the second coming of A-Rod.

[edit] Creation

[edit] Historical Time line

2009-A-Rod accused of steroid use

2-12-21-Press release from A-Rod

Scientific research to support steroid use

5-21-54-Last public appearance

"The world will see my revenge."

A-Rod found dead

5-22-54-Nuclear power plant exploded in Pakistan

Saudi Arabia retaliates

leads to nuclear holocaust

2500-people emerge from underground

2550-A-Rodian society forms and develops

2579-A-Rodian culture has set of myths and beliefs

nomadic in nature

[edit] State of the World 2579

• Plants small and sparse
• Animals are larger and more aggressive
• Total human population 350
• Humans who follow the Mono-ply of Rod 102
  • The 102 live in one collective nomadic community in North America

[edit] The Story of A-Rod

Once upon a time before even our mommies and daddies were born there were some very very bad people and some very good people that all lived together. There was even a god named A-Rod who lived with the people. A-Rod was very very cool. Everyone loved A-Rod. One day A-Rod found a magical potion called steroids. These steroids made him totally awesome. He became so much cooler that the evil people became very jealous. These bad people told A-Rod that he was not allowed to play with baseballs any more. A-Rod tired to explain to the people that steroids were good and would help everyone be happy. No one listened so A-Rod became very sad and decided he could not live with people any more. Before he left he punished everyone accept the really really good people. His punishment was death. The only people that survived were the purest and best people. Because A-Rod was so angry at all of humanity for being so mean to him everyone had to live underground until his anger subsided. When they were able to return to the surface they came out of the magic telephone holes. All of the people who live on earth now are A-Rod's chosen people. He gave us the super important job of making the earth pure enough for him to live on it again. (Manu) (Genesis) (Going to Hell-simplistic language so the whole community can comprehend and participate in the religion)

Note: The religious language is also kept simplistic and child like because it reflects the most pure state of being, a child. When in not a religious context the adults in the community do not simplify their speech (Muller).

[edit] The Monopoly Board

Once we came out of underground A-Rod gave us special gifts to help us with our job. He gave us the monopoly board to guide us, the dice for divination purposes, and the cowboy piece to represent the community. We praise A-Rod daily for these gifts.

[edit] Ritual

[edit] Purification Ritual:

Click here for a video of the ritual....

Within this ritual there are 3 groups:

The Roller is the leader of the ritual. Their job is to continuously roll the dice until they successfully roll both a one and a two.

The Inner Circle Half of the community makes up the Inner Circle. These are the naturally purest members of the community. Natural purity is based on a person's job within the community (See Jobs)(Asad). They create a semi-circle around the rocks facing the roller. During the ritual they sing the purification song.

The Outer Circle This half of the community creates an outer circle by sitting with their backs to the Inner Circle. They are the least pure members of the community. (Asad) They face outward and sing the song to repel evil.

The Purification ritual starts with all the members of the community collecting perfect round rocks. These rocks are then placed in a circle around a telephone hole. It is around this circle that the rest of the ritual takes place. The Roller sits at the top of the circle and the Inner Circle and Outer Circle take their places next. The Roller starts the ritual by rolling the dice within the circle of rocks. At this time the Inner Circle and Outer Circle begin singing. This process continues until the Roller rolls a one and two. At this time the community all stands up and creates one circle around the rock circle. They sing the celebration song and then quietly leave the ritual space.

This ritual is preformed preformed the morning after the community's first night in the city.

[edit] Meaning and Purpose of the Purification Ritual

The purpose of the Purification ritual is to purify the city where the believers are currently living. The purification song is used to take the evil out of the land and trap it within the rocks. The evil that the people have gathered through contact with the land is also placed within the rocks. They enter the ritual in a state of impurity, and during the ritual they are purified. It is only at the end of the ritual that they are completely purified (Virabhadra). If at any point during or after the ritual the rocks are disrupted the evil is released and the ritual must be repeated.

The dice in this case are used to read the purity of the land. The city is only pure after a one and two have been rolled. The number of rolls that it takes to purify the earth represents how evil the place was.

The purpose of the Outer Circle is to ward off any evil that may try to come and ruin the ritual. They recognize that evil does not want to be trapped in the rocks so the Outer Circle has the job of protecting the entire community from the evil they are trying to eliminate. Their song has power as long as the rhythm is not broken and the lyrics are properly sung.

The Inner Circle has an equally important task, it is through their song that evil is trapped in the rocks. Until the dice roll a one and two they are actively working to trap all the evil in the city. They, also, only have power as long as the rhythm is not broken and the lyrics are properly sung.

[edit] The Telephone Hole

Because the community came out of a telephone hole when returning to the surface, the telephone man hole cover is religiously significant. If at any point during their travels to a new city the community comes across a telephone man hole cover they must take it with them to the new city. This is done because only the cities on the monopoly board are recognized as important. A telephone man hole cover outside of one of these cities is obviously out of place and must be returned to where it belongs (Leviticus).

[edit] The Board Ritual

The leader of this ritual is also the Roller. The Roller is the only person physically involved in the ritual. The Roller places the cowboy piece on the space representing the city the community is currently in. The Roller rolls the dice and moves the cowboy clockwise around the board. The space that they land on determines what they do next. If they land on the chance, community chest, tax, railroads, jail, utilities, a city already visited, or the go space they do the required task and then roll again. If they land on the go to jail space a new Roller is chosen and the old Roller is ritually purified, and they continue on with the ritual. If they land on a city space they immediately pack up all of their belongings and move on to that city. (See About the Board)

The Board Ritual is preformed exactly three days after the completion of the Purification Ritual.

[edit] About the Board

The board is a model of the community's nomadic lifestyle and a model for where they will travel. The board reinforces that the community is acting properly and the community's actions reinforce the importance of the board. (Geertz)

After the cleansing the Monopoly board took on the following structure:

The dice gained divination powers, and the power to guide and direct the community.

The Cowboy: The cowboy is the figurine that the community uses to represent themselves when doing the Board Ritual.

The city spaces: There are 23 city spaces on the Monopoly board that represent 23 real cities. These cities must be purified by the people before the world can be considered pure. The cities are: New York, Washington DC, Boston, Chicago, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Disney World, Atlanta, Dallas, Saint Louis, Salt Lake City, Seattle, Mexico City, Toronto, Vancouver, Indianapolis, Albany, Reno, Providence, New Orleans, Phoenix, Memphis, and Denver.

Transportation spaces: There are 4 transportation spaces. Each transportation space once held a specific meaning, but now these meanings have been lost to most of the community.

Utility spaces: There are 2 utility spaces symbolized by a water spigot and a light bulb, these represent the tools required by the community for their trips and rituals.

Tax spaces: The luxury tax space represents the community's connection to the material world. The income tax space represents the specific jobs the community members have to keep the community alive such as: The Roller, the food gathers, the keeper of the tents, the keeper of the ritual tools, the protectors, the Friend of the Ancestors, the doctor, the midwife, and the seamstress.

The chance space is a sign from A-Rod to hold a competition to choose a new Roller. If this space is landed on the community creates a physical challenge for the current Roller and anyone who is willing to accept the challenge.

The community chest space starts a ritual used to bring the community closer together. They reflect on their previous journeys and the mistakes they made. They also discuss the community's spiritual growth. They postpone the rest of the Board Ritual until the next day and throw a giant feast.

Free parking expresses the need for the people to remain where they are for another week.

The Go space is a divine blessing to help them along their way.

The jail space is a reminder to the community of the impurity that exists in the world.

The go-to-jail space: this space is also a sign from A-Rod that the Roller is impure. Unlike with the chance space, when this space is landed on a new Roller is voted into place rather than winning the job through a physical competition.

Those are the 37 spaces that make up the powerful board that directs and teaches the community.

[edit] Ritual Songs

[edit] To Repel Evil

Evil spirits go away

Don't come back another day

(to the tune of Rain Rain Go Away)

[edit] Purification

Roll Roll Roll your dice

Roll a one and two

Purify the ground we're on

And make it all brand new

(to the tune of Row Row Row Your Boat)

[edit] Purification Celebration

If your happy and you know it

Clap your hands clap, clap

If your happy and you know it

Clap your hands clap, clap

If your happy and you know it

and you really want to show it

If your happy and you know it

Clap your hands clap, clap

(to the tune of If Your Happy and You Know It) (includes a ritualized dance)

[edit] Life

[edit] Birth

The community ignores the fact that a woman is pregnant until the moment labor starts. The reason for this is they recognize the high rate of miscarriages. They do not want the community to get excited about the new child while there is still a high chance of death. If the mother miscarries, the mother must be immediately purified by the Friend of the Ancestors. During the labor process the mother is ritually assisted and purified. Once the birthing process is completed the mother and child are ritually cleansed and then re-purified.

Note: Though the community ideally ignores the pregnancy, a pregnant woman is often offered more food and not required to do strenuous work.

[edit] Entering the Community

When the child reaches the age of seven they are initiated into the community through an intense purification process. This process occurs at the age of seven because the odds of dying during the community's travels is significantly lower once the child reaches this age. After the purification process the child begins to learn the job that their father holds.

[edit] Jobs

All of the jobs except the Roller are kept within specific families, so children are born into a specific job. When a couple marries the woman takes on the job of her husband. Jobs are not in anyway gender exclusive.

The Roller: The roller is the leader of the community. It is their job to enforce community laws and to roll the dice in all of the rituals.

The Friend of the Ancestors: This person keeps record book of the dead, purifies the dead, and lays them to rest.

The Keeper of the Ritual Tools: Keeps the dice, monopoly board, and the cowboy figure in a special box. The Keeper of the Ritual Tools is the only person who can touch the ritual objects outside of the ritual. (Durkheim)

The Keepers of the Tents: Collects and carries the tents while the community is traveling during the day and during the three days in which they live in the city.

The Seamstresses: Create and mend clothing for the community.

The Doctors: Heal and treat the sick.

The Midwife: Helps the pregnant mother give birth, and is the only person who can touch the mother during the birthing process.

The Food Gathers: They hunt and prepare the food for the whole community.

The Protectors: Keep the community safe from all kinds of danger (mostly large angry animals.)

[edit] Marriage

At the age of nineteen, twelve years after a person enters the community they become eligible for marriage. When they marry the new couple gets their own tent and no longer has to travel along side their parents. A couple can have children as they please and are encouraged to have at least two children to continue the community.

[edit] Death

When ever a member of the community dies, for any reason, the Friend of the Ancestors purifies the body and lays them on the ground. He records their name, how they died, their roll in the community, the city they died in, and their family members. The Friend of the Ancestors is the only person who can have any physical contact with the dead because of his specialized purification abilities.

Note: Because death was originally seen as a punishment the A-Rodian people make sense out of death in their eschatalogical story. The people who die while A-Rod is not on earth return to life when he returns and receive a new body. They are not dead forever like the people punished by A-Rod, but more seen as resting until his final return (Berger).

[edit] A-Rod's Return

When the world is pure A-Rod will return to live with us. When he returns he will take his awesome bat and powerful ball and get rid of all the evil and impure stuff in the world once and for all. Everyone who died while he was gone will get up and live again. Their bodies will be made like brand new. Everything will be the way it was supposed to be, the way A-Rod wants it to be. A-Rod will live with us and everything will be good. The animals will be nicer and there will be enough plants to eat. And A-Rod will make a special place for us where we can live together forever, and not have to travel ever again.

[edit] Core Beliefs

• A-Rod will return.
• A-Rod purified the human race, but the earth is still impure.
• All evil comes from the impurity of the earth.
• This evil can manifest in different ways and can make humans impure.
• The sacred rituals can purify both humans and the earth.

[edit] A Movement from Within

Within the recent years there has been a movement within the community. Most members of this fraction group are food gathers and protectors. They have become upset because of they are viewed as lower in society, but in reality they have very important jobs. The community says that they are more impure because of their contact with the land and animals. The gathers and protectors see themselves exceptionally pure because the entire community could not survive without them.

A gatherer was heard saying: The way they treat us is unfair. Without us they could not eat, and without the protectors we would all be dead. We should be respected and given an equal place in ritual and in the community.(9/11)

The Roller responded saying: A-Rod gave you your job and you should be proud of it, but at the same time A-Rod deemed the land impure. Your contact with the land makes you also impure. This is not our choice or decision it is A-Rod's. Accept your place as A-Rod has given it to you. (9/11)(Buddhist Nuns)

The gatherer answered back: I do praise A-Rod for my job, but you as a roller are misunderstanding what A-Rod meant. Purity is internal. A person can stay pure by keeping their thoughts pure. A-Rod wanted us to be to all to be equal within the community. (Jihad/Martyrdom) (Zombies)

The Roller cuts him off saying: You are missing A-Rod's real intentions! Obviously your contact with earth has made you lose your way. The earth holds all of the impurity and evil in the world, because you have the most contact with the earth the most evil rubs off on you. We are all purified through ritual but you accumulate the most impurities. It is only through your participation in the ritual that you are made pure (Segal).

Arguments like this can be continually heard but it seems to be the Roller that always has the last word.

[edit] Glossary

Ball: A perfectly round sacred object that flies around A-Rod and gives him power

Bat: A bat is a large wooden weapon used by A-Rod

Free parking expresses the need for the people to remain where they are for another week.

Purity: this is a state of being completely spiritually pure. When one is pure they are as close as a human can be to A-Rod.

Tax spaces: The luxury tax space represents the community's connection to the material world. The income tax space represents the specific jobs the community members have to keep the community alive such as: The Roller, the food gathers, the keeper of the tents, the keeper of the ritual tools, the protectors, the Friend of the Ancestors, the doctor, the midwife, and the seamstress.

Telephone hole: This is any man hole the has a cover on it with the word Telephone. The cover is regarded as a sacred object.

The chance space is a sign from A-Rod to hold a competition to choose a new Roller. If this space is landed on the community creates a physical challenge for the current Roller and anyone who is willing to accept the challenge.

The city spaces: There are 23 city spaces on the Monopoly board that represent 23 real cities. These cities must be purified by the people before the world can be considered pure. The cities are: New York, Washington DC, Boston, Chicago, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Disney World, Atlanta, Dallas, Saint Louis, Salt Lake City, Seattle, Mexico City, Toronto, Vancouver, Indianapolis, Albany, Reno, Providence, New Orleans, Phoenix, Memphis, and Denver.

The community chest space starts a ritual used to bring the community closer together. They reflect on their previous journeys and the mistakes they made. They also discuss the community's spiritual growth. They postpone the rest of the Board Ritual until the next day and throw a giant feast.

The Cowboy: The cowboy is the figurine that the community uses to represent themselves when doing the Board Ritual.

The dice gained divination powers, and the power to guide and direct the community.

The Doctors: Heal and treat the sick

The Food Gathers: They hunt and prepare the food for the whole community.

The Friend of the Ancestors: Keeps record book of the dead, purifies the dead, and lays them to rest.

The Go space is a divine blessing to help them along their way.

The go-to-jail space: this space is also a sign from A-Rod that the Roller is impure. Unlike with the chance space, when this space is landed on an new Roller is voted into place rather than winning the job through a physical competition.

The jail space is a reminder to the community of the impurity that exists in the world.

The Keeper of the Ritual Tools: Keeps the dice, monopoly board, and the cowboy figure in a special box. The Keeper of the Ritual Tools is the only person who can touch the ritual objects outside of the ritual. (Durkheim)

The Keepers of the Tents: Collects and carries the tents while the the community is traveling during the day and during the three days in which they live in the city.

The Midwife: Helps the pregnant mother give birth, and is the only person who can touch the mother during the birthing process

The Protectors: Keep the community safe from all kinds of danger (mostly large angry animals)

The Roller: The roller is the leader of the community. It is their job to enforce community laws and to roll the dice in all of the rituals

The Seamstresses: Create and mend clothing for the community

Transportation spaces: There are 4 transportation spaces. Each transportation space once held a specific meaning, but now these meanings have been lost to most of the community.

Utility spaces: There are 2 utility spaces symbolized by a water spigot and a light bulb, these represent the tools required by the community for their trips and rituals.