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|This is an opinion article from a user of WikiChristian.|
By S. Thomas
I was born again, May 10 1979, at the age of 10. As a kid, I loved the Lord. I was the kid who passed out tracts in the lunchroom, witnessed, and led other kids to the Lord on the playground. But during a rough time my parents got out of church, and so did I.
It's true that no man is an island. I tried to keep praying and stay faithful, but as I got into high school it was harder to resist temptation. I ended up so far away from the Lord that by the age of eighteen I had been married and divorced. My life kept going down hill. I thought I was doing well trying to improve myself - better job, better education, but I was still empty. I got into so many bad situations that I can't take time to tell them. Many times I should have been dead, mainly because I wanted to kill myself, and tried, but God was watching and waiting.
I met Douglas January 6, 1991, in a bar of all places. I was drawn to him. He was a long haired, crazy musician, and for some reason, I felt that he needed me. Six months later we were married. It was a marriage that everybody said wouldn't last - and they were right. Fighting started before we married and escalated.
We had separated two months after we got married, and four months later I had our daughter Sarah. We decided to try it again, to no avail. We were separated as much as we were together. I thought I was going crazy. I was so depressed and felt hopeless and had frequent panic and anxiety attacks. I was taking nerve pills, anti depressants, and tranquillizers constantly. I went to several different psychiatrists and psychologists and even to a women's group, but all that I was told was that the people in my life, even my family were to blame for the way I was and that the only way I could get better was to stay away from them, and that included Douglas. In 1994, I had our son Eric. Fighting became so violent that I took the kids and left.
There are too many details to go into, but when a miserable person meets a miserable person, they breed misery.
While I was away, I realized that I had forgotten my first love - JESUS. I prayed and gave my life and marriage and Doug over to the Lord.
He must have started working on Doug immediately because he called and said he wanted counseling. (An idea that he had said was out of the question before) I agreed on the condition that it be Christian counseling and that we be totally committed to the Lord. We found a church, and Doug rededicated his life to the Lord. Things began to change. Doug's days of playing music in wild bars were over - and the lifestyle that goes with it. The Lord had given him a dream in which he was told to start playing for God's glory. This man who seemed to be only out for fame became compassionate toward lost souls. And he began to open up to me and trust me.
As for me, one day I ran out of nerve pills and had no money. Doug suggested I pray for the money. I thought, "If I can pray for money, I can pray for healing." I put Philippians 4:6-7 on a paper on the refrigerator and took it like medicine. I quoted it 3 times a day or more if I felt anxious or nervous. It says "Be anxious about nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your request known to God, and the PEACE of God which transcends all understanding will guard you hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (NIV) I have not had a nerve pill or tranquillizer since March of 1995 - Praise the Lord !!
We had started praying for a house shortly thereafter. Everything in Knoxville, where we were living was so expensive. I was from a small town called Jamestown in Tennessee. I had tried to get away from it as long as I could remember. I hated the place, and Doug hated it too. I thought I was too special to live in a small town. But one day my mother called and told me about a house. It had every thing we were looking for, and the price was unbelievable, but it was in Jamestown - the place I hated. Doug had talked about moving to Jamestown, but after each visit there, he quickly changed his mind. But for some reason, as soon as I hung up the phone after talking to my mother, I fell on my knees and asked God to make a way to get the house. Doug came home and I told him about it. He was so impressed that we took off right then to Jamestown. We pulled in the driveway of the house and at the same time we said, "Wow!!!, We WILL live here, in Jesus name!"
We had no money for the down payment or a moving truck. The house had no appliances, neither did we, and Doug had not even a promise of a job, But God must have gone to work right then.
Money just came our way. People gave us appliances, and the down payment and financing just simply happened. And within two weeks Doug had three jobs to choose from. God is so good!!
The most incredible thing about the move was the peace we both had, as if we knew that was where we belonged. It still amazes me.
I don't know why he wants us here, maybe to humble us, because we thought we were too big for our britches. But whatever the reason - here we are.
Doug and I are still growing and learning, sometimes it is rough, but the more I pray and stay in the Word of God, the more peace I have, and the more I quit trying to change things and confidently trust God, the more things do change.
There has never been a need: financial, health, or personal, in our marriage that God hasn't met since we gave Him control. I don't mean that there aren't hard times, sometimes things seem impossible, but as we trust and obey, He gives peace and provides just the right thing at the right time.
I hope this has encouraged you, It may not be much to some, but I cannot describe the feeling of being free from all the medication and anxiety and confusion. The only thing I depend on now to keep me calm is Jesus, For He Himself Is our Peace... Ephesians 2:14.
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