McDology
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What is McDology?
McDology is a religion focused on the relationship one has with them self, through the teachings of Dick and Mac McDonald. McDology acts as a lifelong lesson to believers to be aware of their actions and temptations, and battle within themselves to refrain from gluttony and selfishness, while living a positive and generous life filled with modest rewards. McDology accepts all who commit themselves to the practices and rituals of their local McDonald's franchise. McDology does not believe in strict or mandatory requirements in terms of attendance, donation, or location, but simply asks to never take advantage of the faith.
Dick and Mac McDonald were brothers from San Bernardino, California who were born to single mother and had no recollection of their father. In fact, the rumor around town as the two brothers were growing up, was that their mother was impregnated by a mysterious clown. While Dick and Mac had never met or spoken to their father, they had always felt his spirit nearby; they knew there was something special about them. They lived a challenging life, one with not many privileges. But they believed that it was not about riches and material things that made their life great, it was their internal satisfaction and their capability to overcome adversity. They wanted to spread the word of their new found meaning of life, and thus created the theory of McDology.
In 1940, they simultaneously dreamed of a clown that provided them with a list of instructions. They began to work on their first sanctuary, building the roots and culture around it, hoping to spread the morals of McDology to people throughout their community. They lived their lives as McDologists and scripted the values and beliefs that they lived by. Friendliness, selflessness, health awareness, charity, and customer service were few of their many listed attributes. However, they were aware of the potential for abuse and addiction to the very rewards that McDology had to offer. Therefore, they promoted the battle within to fight the temptation of such conclusions. They felt as if they were guided by a higher power, but were unsure of where to begin. They wanted the world to know the path of a modest life while facing the temptations of the world. For it was the very thing that McDologists desired that they needed to control.
(Genesis)
In 1955, resources and the reach of their wisdom were limited. Dick and Mac McDonald fought hard to spread the values and beliefs of McDology; however, to no avail their following was limited to the small town of San Bernardino, California. They knew their following had experienced life-changing events with their knew found appreciation of life through the teachings of McDology, and wished that they could share such things with the rest of mankind. It was not until a humble and modest businessman by the name of Ray Kroc took the spiritual journey from Des Plaines, Illinois to San Bernardino, California to meet with the "Founders" as Dick and Mac soon became to be known. Ray Kroc was a man of no belief who was constantly looking for a purpose. Upon his arrival in San Bernardino he explained to the brothers that he was sent on the cross country spirit walk by their very own father, Ronald McDonald. "He came to me in my dreams," he explained, "and told me I had to come help you." While the brothers began to connect the dots between rumors of their father, the mysterious clown who had spoken to them, and Ray Kroc's story, Ray continued by explaining what their Father had asked of him. "It is from my head and my hands that we will build McDology; Ronald has bestowed upon me the power to make his visions reality." And so they did. Ray began to create from his hands the soon to be famous rewards of McDology. In 1963 when the world was at a low point and facing war, natural disaster, and major protesting, Ronald McDonald spoke to Ray Kroc once more, but this time it was to bring him to life; to make him a material thing to come and help change the world. And so he did. Through the power bestowed upon him, with a flash of Red and Yellow, there he was, Ronald McDonald.
(Manu)
Contents |
[edit] Beliefs
In McDology, we firmly believe in the importance of community and a sense of family. While our religion has many goals, many of which will be discussed further down on this website, establishing a sense of belonging, as well as being socially active within the faith are two of the main things we strive for as McDologists.
(Durkheim)
Membership in the religion is not limited by any type of stipulation or requirements--anyone may join. In addition, although McDology was started in United States, the religion has spread to places all over the world including Argentina, Spain, Australia, France, and many other countries. Moreover, in order to embrace the different cultures of many of these countries, sanctuaries will modify or add pieces to their menu to fulfill the needs of these diverse people. Examples of this is the Chicken Maharaja Mac in India, or the Greek Mac in Greece.
We also believe in a healthy lifestyle. It is understood that the food sold at McDonald's can be very tempting, as well as unhealthy. We believe in living a humble lifestyle of self control and lack of gluttony. It is expected that one will be able to control one's urges to continuously eat the food sold at McDonald's and will make choices that will be beneficial to one's own health and well being. By living a life of sacrifice on earth (controlling urges for McDonald's food), one will be rewarded in the afterlife and will be able to eat an unlimited amount of McDonald's food without any detrimental consequences to one's health or well being.
(Geertz--moods)
As such, McDologists must always remember the following guidance which has been given to us from the founders: 1. You shall not eat as a glutton. 2. You shall eat of any animals, but never to excess. 3. Upon completion of any extraordinary task, thou shall reward thyself with Holy foods from McDonald’s. Let it be known that rewards shall not come from any other food source.
(Leviticus/Dietary Restrictions)
[edit] Health
As previously mentioned a major belief in McDology is to live a healthy and fulfilling lifestyle. Life often times provides many unhealthy temptations that people often abuse. McDonald's food is one of these temptations. It is important for McDologists to know that McDonald's food is to be used for enjoyment and not in large quantities. The idea of McDology is ever spreading because of the importance of a healthy life. Many athletes, actors, actresses, and music artists are starting to follow the McDology faith. Men like Michael Phelps and Tiger Woods have made fellow McDologists proud. The desire and dedication to success has made these men live ideal lifestyles. These men are able to enjoy McDonald's food in small quantities knowing that some day they will be rewarded with unlimited treats.
[edit] Charity
We believe in the importance of charity on a large scale and individual level. The Ronald McDonald House was created by McDologists all across the world to provide housing, food and tutors to children and families that are going through some serious medical issues. The houses are located close to hospitals around the world. On the small scale, we believe in lending a helping hand as an individual. This could mean doing small acts of kindness for those in one's environment or donating money to charitable organizations such as the Ronald McDonald House.
The servers at McDonalds tend to take in the most money for charitable causes than anyone else. Often looked at as the lowest on the chain of command in McDology, the servers still bring in the most donations. They are the ones who receive the money for purchases on days like Milkshake McHappy Day and also have donation boxes posted in front of their register. Furthemore, all revenues brought into McDonalds that go toward spreading the fait of McDology passes through their hands. They are indeed a very integral part of the faith.
(Buddhist Nuns)
[edit] World History
1963 was the year that Ronald McDonald felt it necessary to grace the earth with his presence. He did not see a great future and thought that he would need to be here to help the people of the world cope with what was in store. 1963 was in the thick of the rise of communism, the Vietnam war, and people's rights movements and protests. McDologists maintained a neutral stance through it all and continued to promote and reward those who succeeded with the battle within to avoid gluttoness habits.
On September 11, 2001 the most tragic attack on United States soil took place and had a negative impact on people all around the world due to lost loved ones, waged wars, and racial controversies. McDonalds offered a neutral ground and safe haven during these trying times and the presence of Ronald proved beneficial for the world. Fellow McDologists in all countries were aided by the faith to help them through their suffering.
McDology is known as the only religion that can perfectly co-exist with all other faiths. There are McDology Sanctuaries in every country and religious territory of the world.
(9/11)
[edit] Symbols
The symbol of McDology is the Golden Arches. The symbolic meaning of these two arches is that each arch represents one of the original brothers, Dick and Mac. The arches will be displayed at every sanctuary and will provide a sense of security to all McDologists. Along with representing Dick and Mac, the arches are a symbol is to motivate McDologists to live a healthy and fulfilling lifestyle.
(Geertz)
In addition to the golden arches, on the signs outside of every sanctuary, there is the name of the restaurant "McDonald's." The possessive sense of the name serves as a representation of the belief that once you become a member you are officially part of the McDology family.
(Muller)
[edit] Traditions
As McDologists, we have a very strong set of core beliefs. However, we also recognize that the best way to put those beliefs into actions is through ritualistic practices which over time have become traditions within the faith of McDology. We believe that one of the best ways to get a “taste” of what McDology has to offer is by examining a few of our traditions which we’ve provided for you below. Through these ritualistic traditions, you can see the inner workings of McDology and the sense of pride, community, and genuine service for which it stands.
(Durkheim)
McDuction: McDuction is a ceremony that takes place when a child takes steps towards becoming an independent member of the religion. The child's last happy meal is hidden somewhere in the huge ball pit inside the Play Place. The child must make his way through the Play Place, climbing to the top of the slide that leads to the ball pit. Once inside the ball pit, the child must find his happy meal and return it to one of the religious leaders. The entire ceremony is representative of the child's "coming of age" in the religion. Making his/her way through the play place and climbing to the top of the slide represents the child and his/her independence, and returning the meal to one of the disciples represents the child's commitment to his/her chosen lifestyle according to McDology.
Adults also take part in this ritual when they profess their desire to become a new member of McDology, although the ritual is modified slightly. The adults do partake on the adventure through the twists and turns, ups and downs of the play place, which represents the journey of life. Upon reaching the top, they declare their commitment to the beliefs and life style of a true McDologist. Finally, they slide down the slide into the ball pit which officially inducts them into the family of McDology.
(Virabadra)
Milkshake McHappy Day: Every McDologist must go to a McDonald's and purchase a milkshake of any flavor. The proceeds will then go towards a charitable organization.
[edit] Afterlife
One of the biggest mysterious of life is what happens to people after they die. There are many beliefs and ideas to this matter that are constantly being debated. People of the McDology faith believe if they live a good life and follow the ways of Ray Kroc and Dick and Mac McDonald, they will be rewarded with eternity in the Kingdom of Heaven. However, if they do not follow these ways and live a life of selfishness and abuse, then they will spend an eternity in Hell. What is Heaven? Heaven is viewed as a place of comfort and peace. Here people are able to be in the presence of Ronald McDonald (higher power) and enjoy the deliciousness of McDonald’s food; the food that they grew to love but did not abuse while on Earth. The never ending tastiness of the Big and Tasty and mouth watering enjoyment of the Big Mac, make heaven a place people strive to go. It is in Heaven where you can enjoy the presence of family members and friends and fellow McDologists. In order to get to heaven a McDologist must live a healthy and fulfilling lifestyle. They must maintain good physical and mental awareness as well as spreading their positive being to others. The kind acts of charity and healthy lifestyle will more than guarantee a place in Heaven after a McDologist passes on. Despite spreading the word and hoping all McDologists follow these simple guidelines, there are people who fail to meet these requirements. If a person is unable to maintain a healthy lifestyle while helping others they will be damned to hell. What is Hell? Hell is viewed as a place of neglect and hardships. Here people must serve the grills in the kitchen of the Burger King, never to eat McDonald’s food again. This is not a place where McDologists want to end up because of the troubles they are to face. In order to get to Hell one must not follow the teachings of Ronald McDonald. Now it must be known that throughout life people can be forgiven for neglect of the religion but if it happens numerous times they will be punished after death. We as McDologist hope that someday all people will be able to spend eternity in Heaven and avoid the traps of the Burger King.
(Martyrdom, going to hell)
[edit] Criticisms
Some people don't understand or appreciate the values and beliefs of McDology the way the McDonald's brothers had envisioned. Instead they criticize McDology by reducing it to simple terms and ideas that take away from the sacredness of the religion. One popular criticism is that McDology is simply a religion in which people go and eat at McDonald's all the time. This belief is very reductionistic, because it leaves out other important concepts and beliefs. McDology is so much more than eating at McDonald's. It's about resisting temptation and living a healthy life style. Followers do eat McDonald's on a regular basis, but they do not eat it excessively. They simple eat it for enjoyment with self control. Along with living a healthy lifestyle, McDologists promote the idea of spreading wealth and helping others. These critics often leave out these very important concepts.
(Zombies)
Another more well known criticism of McDology is the belief that the practice of McDology is unhealthy, and it causes it's followers to become obese. A famous advocate of this criticism is the filmmaker Morgan Spurlock. In his movie "Super Size Me", Spurlock emphasizes the belief that McDology is unhealthy and causes obesity. In addition, critics like Spurlock interpret obesity as merely a psychological problem of eating too much McDonald's.
(Freud)
In McDology, there is acknowledgement that some of McDonald's food isn't very healthy and could potentially lead to obsesity. However, McDology has a broader explanation for why some its followers become obese. People who become obese from practicing McDology are not living their lives to the potential of the religion and are giving in to the battle of temptation within themselves. These people are gluttons and will not enjoy the luxury of heaven in the afterlife. Instead, they will slave away under the rule of the Burger King.
Followers of McDology wish everyone would see the values and beliefs that Dick and Mac envisioned, but unfortunately, reduction of the religion is unavoidable. There will always be people who will think that McDology is unhealthy, and people who don't understand that the purpose of the religion is not just eating McDonald's. It's about helping people, loving life, and appreciating all that exists on this beautiful world.
(Segal)
[edit] Glossary
Burger King - The devil.
Dick and Mac - The Founders of McDology.
Disciples - the workers in the McDonald's restaurants
Gluttony - Over eating; stuffing your face is highly frowned upon.
Grimmace - The image of gluttony. Negative symbol.
Hamburgler - He's bad, but good. He steals burgers to prevent you from being a glutton.
McDologist- Members of the religion who lead a healthy, fulfilling life style devoted to helping others.
McDuction - Ceremony to lead a child or adult into full membership as a McDologist.
Milkshake McHappy Day - McDologists must go to a McDonald's and buy a milkshake. All proceeds will go to charity.
Morgan Spurlock - Filmmaker of the movie "Super Size Me" and advocate against the practice of McDology.
Ray Kroc - The Enlightened one, the chosen one. Speaks directly with Ronald.
Ronald McDonald - The higher power.
Sanctuaries - McDonald's Restaurants