Philosophy
 

Frankfurtism

Religion-wiki — for all religions and none

Frankfurtism is the belief held by many that hot dogs contain the power to tap into an ultimate truth through the basic practice of consumption (Definition).

Contents

[edit] Social Context

Frankfurtism has flourished in a society that accepts and reveres processed food. There has been great competition in the market from smaller hot dog manufacturers and larger hot dog manufacturers for a monopoly over the market. Several smaller companies have been successful because of their ability to make hot dogs that people believe are superior and better suited to fulfill their spiritual needs (Buddhist Nuns).

[edit] History of Frankfurtism

The history of the hot dog, our sacred object, dates back to the 1480’s in the German City of Frankfurt. Hot dog’s were then brought to America and were first sold by German Immigrant Charles Feltman on Coney Island in the 1870’s. The hot dog has always been sacred but was not recognized as holy until, our prophet, Hot Dog Frank recognized its holiness in the 1990’s (Genesis). Hot Dog Frank used the power of the hot dog and his connection to it’s holiness in the LVC Miracle below. The prophet brought the sacredness of the hot dog to enlightenment through this miracle. Today the hot dog is recognized as Frankfurtism’s sacred object because the prophet recognized it to be true (Manu’s Creation).

[edit] LVC Miracle

The Lebanon Valley College Men's Basketball team won the 1994 Division III National Championship over NYU. They did so, however, with a little help. With 2.9 seconds left in regulation and Lebanon Valley down two, LVC in bounded the ball and scored to send the game into overtime. Whether the shot was released before time expired has sparked debates from those who played, and those who filled the stands. One thing is for sure, it was a miracle that the shot went in and was counted even if it was after the buzzer. It would soon be realized that this miracle was no fluke, as the power of Frankfurtism was at its best.

[edit] Prophet: Hot Dog Frank

Frank Aftosomes, better known as "Hot Dog Frank" at Lebanon Valley College, was an avid Men's Basketball fan and attended as many games as possible. He would sell hot dogs at each game, thus spreading Frankfurtism. Frank passed away at the age of 92 before the championship game against New York University, and it was this event that made everyone realize the power and miracles that can be obtained from consuming hot dogs. Each year at Hot Dog Frank Day for the Men's Basketball team, all basketball game attendees are treated to hot dogs free of charge. This is the main event for the year to symbolize the prophet of Frankfurtism, Hot Dog Frank, but to also continue the spread of Frankfurtism.

[edit] Origin

Franfurtism is a widespread world phenomenon but in every culture it may be called by a different name. Frankfurtism derives its name from a popular synonym of the hot dog: "frankfurter". The name "frankfurter" gives insight behind the origins of the religion. It is in Frankfurt, Germany that the first sausage was served in a bun. These practices have been recreated in other societies and a plethora of names have been created including "wiener" (Vienna, Austria), "Wienerli" (Swiss Germany), and, more commonly, the "hot dog". Analysis of these names gives insight into the origins of Frankfurtism. (Muller)

[edit] Rituals

[edit] Basic Ritual

The basic ritual associated with Frankfurtism is the consumption of the hot dog with both the dog and bun. Frankfurters eat the hot dog to tap into the power associated with the LVC Hot Dog Frank Miracle. The stages of the ritual include hot dog preparation, consumption, and reintegration.


  • Preparation:

In preparing the hot dog, the Eater must grill the hot dog over a charcoal or propane grill outside or on a George Foreman grill when the weather inhibits the outside grilling. The boiling of hot dogs is extremely offensive and unsacred. The faith of the Frankfurter will be diminished by failing to properly prepare the hot dog for consumption (Leviticus). In addition to proper preparation, condiments may be added to the hot dog to enhance the experience. Each condiment that is put on the hot dog offers a different wish or prayer. Ketchup is associated with safety from injuries and blood. Mustard is a pray for long life. Relish is said to give wealth and prosperity. Sour kraut is a prayer for good luck. Chili is a wish for internal peace. Cheese is a prayer for joy.


  • Consumption:

During the consuming of the hot dog, the entire hot dog and bun must be consumed. Other variations on this are unholy and detrimental to Frankfurters spiritual well-being. The hot dog, bun, and condiments are considered profane; however, when they interact with each other during preparation and consumption, they become sacred (Durkheim). The merging of the three is what formulates the spiritual experience and fuels the entrance to the liminal state. The entire hot dog and bun must be consumed during the ritual as eating it any other way is repulsive.


  • Reintegration:

The Eaters experience a liminal state of peace during the consumption of the holy food. This liminal state is between that which man is and that which is the prophet, tapping into the power of the hot dog. From the first bite to the last, the liminal state is achieved. It does not end until one is finished with eating the hot dog, and thereby, reentering the human state (Virabhadra).

Many non-Frankfurters who don't comprehend the holiness of the hot dog mistake this liminal state as mere joy. between man and prophet through the power of the hot dog.


Variations on the Ritual: Frankfurtism recognizes different types of rituals. There are private rituals; in which followers perform the ritual in their own homes alone or with friends and family. There are also public rituals, where followers perform the ritual at community carnivals, sports games etc. The ritual is to be performed at least once a week by the Frankfurters either publicly or privately. However, followers may perform the ritual as much as they would like depending on how often they would like to send prayers and tap into the holy power. For those who do not like hot dogs, they go through a constant struggle and sacrifice of themselves for the power they desire to gain from the ritual (Jihad).


[edit] Hot Dog Eating Contest

Another example of a public type ritual is a Hot Dog Eating Contest. Frankfurters are strongly encouraged to participate in this ritual at least once in their lifetime. Some claim it has led to their enlightenment and promoted them to selling hot dogs; therefore, those wishing to advance as Frankfurters perform this ritual.


[edit] Core Belief

Frankfurters believe that their lives are controlled and enhanced by the power they gain from performing the ritual of hot dog consumption. This was control was proven with the LVC Miracle in 1994, and continues to be true for followers to this day.

[edit] Sacred Objects

  • Hot dogs, buns, condiments, grills, and preparation materials are all sacred. They may not be used in a profane manner and they can only be used when performing the ritual.
  • Wiener Mobile is sacred as it is used to spread Frankfurtism and the ritual behavior. Damage done to the Wiener Mobile results in condemnation to The Boiler.

[edit] Holidays

July 4th

  • This day is set aside to honor the hot dog and all of its power. All Frankfurters must perform the ritual at least once on this day.
  • Also, July 4th marks the day of Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. Frankfurters are strongly encouraged to participate in this annual ritual at least once in their life; however, it is not mandatory.

The Month of July

  • July has been delegated as National Hot Dog Month. During this time, particular attention must be paid to the ritual behaviors and it is suggested that the Frankfurters perform the ritual daily to convey their faith in the hot dog.

[edit] Role of Frankfurtism during Life

There are several stages that a Frankfurter follows during their lifetime. At the most basic level, followers are “Eaters.” Their primary objective is to participate in the ritual eating of hot dogs. After eating hot dogs, the Eaters reach a point when their ritual behavior leads to understanding and enlightenment. This can be reached at any time in the life of a Frankfurter depending on their commitment to the rituals. Once this enlightenment period is reached, the Eaters become “Sellers.” These Sellers promote Frankfurtism by encouraging consumption of hot dogs through their sale. The Sellers’ aim is to build up enough capital to start their own production facility. When the Sellers reach this point in which they have enough to begin the production, they become “Makers.” The Makers’ aim is to create hot dogs that are sacred and promote their consumption and sale.

There are no set times in a Frankfurter’s life that these levels should be reached; the achievement of these levels is purely up to the individual and their desire to attain oneness with the way of life. While it is expected that Frankfurters desire to reach the highest level, it is not expected to be reached by many.

Frankfurtism Hierarchy

[edit] Afterlife

The Grill:

There are levels that the Frankfurters attempt to reach during their lifetime which ultimately lead to their destination. Those who reach the highest level of Makers while be accepted into The Grill when their time comes. Frankfurters who adhere to the rituals will also gain acceptance to The Grill.

The Boiler:

However, those who defy the rituals by failing to follow proper preparation and consumption spend their afterlife in The Boiler (Going to Hell). Those who lack dedication to the rituals of Frankfurtism will also be sent to The Boiler.

The untimely dead, or those who have not had the chance to experience the rituals on a spiritual level will gain acceptance into The Boiler or The Grill based on their family’s dedication to Frankfurtism while in the liminal state.

[edit] Explanation of Frankfurtism

[edit] Scholarly Explanations of Frankfurtism:

Freud: Hot dog consumption symbolizes a reflection of the totem meal practiced by our ancestors.
Geertz: Immediately following the LVC Miracle, there was chaos in the world as this was an unexpected and inexplicable turn of events. This event was explained by some as the power of Hot Dog Frank. Shortly thereafter, Frankfurtism was accepted as the answer to this chaos and the world regained order in efforts to tap into similar power.
Asad: The makers of the hot dog create our religion because of the power they have over the ingredients; therefore, they decide the fate of the followers.
Berger: Frankfurtism is not merely a construct to explain the LVC Miracle. Rather, it is the socially defined reality that hot dogs contain some form of empowerment through their ability to create a liminal state that was legitimized by the LVC Miracle. However, this reality that hot dogs contain power has been understood by a few prior to the LVC Miracle.

[edit] World Views of Frankfurtism

[edit] Social Science Views:

Psychology: Mental fixation on consumption of a specific food.
Sociology: Collective experience grew out of people getting together at picnics/games – long-held tradition.
Art: Creating hot dogs from different ingredients or using different condiments can be an art form.
Business: Marketing scheme to sell hot dogs to maintain a population that always eats hot dogs.
Science: Technology to make hot dogs and improve them has led to a vicious cycle of production.
Reductionists: Other religions see this as just eating food satisfies hunger and is not a holy ritual (Zombies).

[edit] Glossary

  • The Boiler - the place nonFrankfurters are sent in the afterlife for not following ritual guidelines and failing to show their dedication to Frankfurtism
  • Eaters - Frankfurters in the earliest stage of their life, usually performing the most basic ritual of consuming hot dogs with the goal of enlightenment
  • Frankfurters - followers of Frankfurtism
  • The Grill - the place Frankfurters are sent in the afterlife for fulfilling their duties as believers
  • Makers - Frankfurters in the latest stage of life, they make the hot dogs for others to consume
  • Sellers - Frankfurters in the middle stage of life, selling hot dogs to fellow Frankfurters with the goal of building capital to become Makers