CLER
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[edit] Contour Line Education Religion
Contour Line Education Religion (or CLER) is a union of dedicated graduated students who roam the earth teaching the way of the Contour Line. They believe in three gods (which will be described later), and the hidden power beneath the face of Topographic Maps. They spread this knowledge of this power, and send a crucial warning to avoid ACER. To promote themselves they produce goods such as CLEMs (Contour Line Education Modules), which in a way are similar to computers.
Every month they go on a pilgrimidge to A1, or the inventing room. Before they use ACER computers they also bless them, cleaning them of their cursed brand name. We also bow whenever we meet our Messiah or see contours.
We have a few holidays:
- Simon Yue's Birthday - our Messiahs birthday
- Contour Day - when CLER was founded
We believe the earth was flat and dull until the Cartographer said: "Let there be countours" (and drew pencil contours). Then the earth began to support dinosaurs and other animals. Then the Cartographer rubbed out the contours on the earth and they died. He then redrew them (in pen) and humans were born.
We believe the world will end when our Messiah descends into Heaven - and his loyal followers will go with him. Everyone else will die in an apocolypse.
In the afterlife everything is made of contours. All your friends will be there, whilst your enemies will be sent to Hell. Everything your heart desires is provided.
We believe in three Gods:
- The Cartographer - he drew contours on the earth (as stated above) and is our prime God.
- Simon Yue - the founder of the religion. Also our Messiah who we waited 13 years for.
- Contours & Topographic Maps - the core of our religion. Must be respected and well cared for.
Our sacred site is A1, later dubbed the inventing room. This is where we pilgrimidge to. It is where CLER was founded, and the home of our Messiah.
Beware Anti Contour Education Religion (ACER). They misguide you on your journey, and their computers are crap. Never listen to them. If you destroy an ACER your reward in heaven becomes greater, and you are guarenteed to have a vision of our Messiah.
To sign up today go to your local CLET (Contour Line Education Temple) and talk to your local rabbi. (Don't be fooled by the fake priests at ACEMs (Anti-Contour Education Mosques.) Alternatively pray to the Cartographer and if he thinks your worthy he will ensure you will sight our Messiah sometime tomorrow.
