Blitzanity

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Blitzanity was founded in 2009, a man walked into a desert on the 10th of February 2006 and walked out alive of the 20th of May 2006 with no food or drink, he died three years later after a heart attack. He was reported then to have traveled around England visiting every house, saying "Place the love you have in God." Thousands agreed with this and got together and worshiped this man as there god and without knowing him they named him Dievas Sveikata, which is God of health in Lithuanian. Some people in the group where Lithuanian.

[edit] History

Critical Events:

A man walking into a desert and being alive months later without food or drink.

The man dying of a horrible heart attack.

The man coming back to life and spreading the word of God.

[edit] Creation Story

When the world was ruled by monstrous beings who challenged each other constantly, the two biggest rivals clashed in an event that would shape the world as we know it today. One particular day Blitz the leader of the giants challenged Gridiron, the leader of the titans to the ultimate test of strength. Blitz taunted Gridiron saying he could not even carry a boulder across the field to the other side. Gridiron laughed at this and said of course he could. The giants countered and dared the titan chieftain to try and break through the giants’ blockade while trying to get the boulder across the field. Gridiron told the giant king that the giants’ blockade would crumble under the titans’ strength. The giants were furious at the titans’ boldness and both sides were anxious to prove the other wrong.

To decide who would try to move the boulder first they decided to look to the moon. If the heavenly sphere was waxing then it would be the giants who got to try first and if the moon was waning then the titans would try first. The moon was almost full but not quite. This meant that the Titans would first try to make it to the other side of the field with the boulder. Blitz then added the extra prize that whoever did make it to the other side of the field with the boulder would have a constellation of 7 stars dedicated to them in the sky.

The giants formed a man-made wall in order to prevent the titans from reaching the other side. The titans tried to break through the blockade while other titans passed the ball back and forth and ran as fast as they could. After gruesome and tough battling both teams carry the boulder to the opposite ends of the field, leaving each with 7 stars in the heavens. In one last attempt to prove themselves the strongest and greatest beings to rule the earth, each side tried to break through the other’s blockade. The giants successfully stopped the titans from reaching the other side by constantly tackling the titan warriors before they could even throw it once. When it was the giants turn to carry the boulder, they too met a very tough barricade of titan warriors. Very close to the end of the field the giants found themselves with one last chance to make it to the end of the field. In a desperate attempt to get the boulder to the other side, the smallest giant found the boulder in is procession and decided to kick the boulder over all of the titans’ heads to get the boulder to the other side. It landed perfectly on the edge of the field and the giants had proven themselves the greatest of all of the beasts of the earth.

Now normally the humans that inhabited the earth stayed far out of the way of the gargantuan creatures that controlled the earth. But on this day, a particularly adventurous and daring human wandered behind the territory that the humans usually inhabited and stumbled upon the giants’ and titans’ battle of strength. After the giants had won he ran back to the humans’ village and told everyone he could find all about what he had just witnessed. The humans began practicing this form of battle and soon became very good. Eventually the humans had gained enough strength that they became the new victors of the battle for strength.

- NOTE In celebration of the win for earth, we now celebrate the victory by reenacting the battle of strength every week.

[edit] Participants

Referees- the transcendence of the Gods

Coaches- Senior Experts; coaches control most of the team’s actions. Sometimes coaches have been players and have gained wisdom in this way.

Players-Junior Experts ; the main contributors as to whether a team gets to the championship

Cheerleaders- expert actors; held to a higher standard. Are supposed to Emulate the perfect fan.

Fans- actors; their participation in cheering on teams contributes to the team’s success

[edit] Ceremonies

One ceremony that occurs is after one of the biggest holidays of the religion, the Super Bowl. After the Super Bowl a ceremony takes place on the field where an expert who has participated in the battle is chosen as the MVP. By becoming an MVP the expert also becomes a saint for being recognized for his high level of competitiveness, strength, will, and passion for the competition.

Another ceremony that takes place is the selection of potential experts in becoming actual experts which is also known as the Draft holiday. During this event potential experts are given hats to wear representing the team of experts that they have become a part of. Once they place the hat on their heads they are pledging to dedicate their lives to that team of experts as well as to the religion as a whole.

[edit] Sacred Texts

Chants:

Bash ‘em, knock ‘em send them home They’re Losers like we’ve always known We’re the strongest and the victors Once and for all we’re the true Blitzers

Blitz and Gridiron Help us to see What will bring us to victory. We lost this battle, but we shall learn what will direct us to higher Blitazanity

Books:

Official NFL Rule Book

John Madden's Heroes of Football : The Story of America's Game

[edit] Rituals

Pre-Fanning

One of the rituals for the Blitzanity religion is a process of reaching a possessed state that connects humans closer to the divine. This process is accomplished with the consumption of the drink of the Gods called Heinecoorsrona. There are actually three stages of this ritual that followers go through in practicing this ritual. The first stage consists of followers consuming the drink before the battle of rivaling experts. After a few cups of Heinecoorsrona, the followers reach the second stage which is somewhat of a trance state that allows them to show their dedication to the team of experts that they favor in more of an extreme and overbearing way. By reaching this state followers ultimately build extra strength for the experts allowing the experts to compete at a higher level enhancing their overall performance and will to win. While the battles on the field are occurring the Gods are watching in spirit. The third stage occurs when the game clock strikes zero and a definitive winner has been established. The effects of the Heinecoorsrona begin to wear off of the followers disconnecting them from the trance state. The followers of the winning team of experts are deemed religiously inclined bringing them closer to reaching purity. The followers of the losing team of experts are deemed to be not supportive enough of the experts or religion setting them farther apart from purity.

Fanaticism

Another ritual that is practiced in Blitzanity is the ritual of body coloring. Followers of a certain team of experts paint the colors of that team on their bodies and faces. This act is a way of bringing the followers closer to the experts. By followers coloring their bodies they are showing which team of experts they support for the Gods. This helps the Gods to be able to distinguish which follower supports what team.

[edit] Symbols

Symbols of Blitzanity include the following:

Team mascots-Mascots are usually chosen as spiritual protectors for each team. The protectors provide skill and power that unique to each and every team.
Team logos- logos are usually pictures that represent a team’s mascot. They represent the power that the mascot provides. Logos are usually worn in support of a certain team.
Referee signals- the hand motions of a referee are the passing of judgment over a team’s actions. These signals represent final authority.
White and black stripes- the referee’s uniform of white and black stripes represent the official and final authority that referees are given as transcendence of the gods.
Goal posts- These tall yellow polls frequently referred to as “up-rights” are seen as a sign of stability. They solidify a team’s gain of points by giving an extra point if a player can kick the ball through them; they are taller than entire field to emulate their stature.

[edit] Saints

Bart Starr

Joe Namath

Len Dawson

Chuck Howley

Roger Staubach

Jake Scott

Larry Csonka

Franco Harris

Lynn Swann

Fred Biletnikoff

Harvey Martin

Randy White

Terry Bradshaw

Jim Plunkett

Joe Montana

John Riggins

Marcus Allen

Richard Dent

Phil Simms

Doug Williams

Jerry Rice

Ottis Anderson

Mark Rypien

Troy Aikman

Emmitt Smith

Steve Young

Larry Brown

Desmond Howard

Terrell Davis

John Elway

Kurt Warner

Ray Lewis

Tom Brady

Dexter Jackson

Deion Branch

Hines Ward

Peyton Manning

Eli Manning

Santonio Holmes

[edit] Sins

Sins in Blitzanity constitute acts which displease the Gods such as

1.Cheering for multiple teams

2.Bandwagon

3.Switching teams

4.Marriage to someone in a rival “sect”

5.Use of steroids

6.Betting against your team

7.Spilling Heinecoorsoronna

8.Not honoring the “holy day” or watching the game

[edit] Critics

Muller

Touchdown- Many use this term to describe when a team scores but do not know the origin. This term was coined by humans who heard the boisterous noise created as the boulders touched the earth.

Gridiron- Many have wondered why the term gridiron is associated with football when the field is not a gird. The true meaning is that gridiron is a place of judgment. This is the place where the Gods look upon the players and judge who has the best strength and athleticism. Flaws are also identified. Players who are able to prove themselves will be able to reach heaven.

Pigskin- Humans celebrated the victory by reenacting the battle of strength every week. To add excitement to the game a certain clan, decided to cut off the heads of their enemies and used that to play the game instead of the boulders. This became too messy so they changed the game. Instead, the humans decided to cut the bladder of a dead cow. To prevent the bladder from bursting during the game, they wrapped it with pig skin.

Giants- This football team selected the name “Giants” to commemorate the creatures who started the game

Geertz

“The giants formed a man-made wall in order to prevent the titans from reaching the other side”.

One interpreter of this statement stated: “The man-made wall does not literally mean a wall built by men but rather a cohesive unit of beings coming together to block the titans. It is a model of the power and sacrifice necessary to excel on the field.”

Another stated: “The giants used men for the wall as a gesture of men sacrificing their bodies for the good of the competition.”

In modern day: In the game game of football today, a “man-made” wall is still used. These men, the experts, are sacrificing their body for the love of the game. This wall is also about teamwork and binding together so they can block the other team from entering into their zone. They also want to prove to the heavens that they are worthy this opportunity to play on the sacred field. As the experts walk onto the field they enter a trance-like state where all that matters is winning the game and proving their strength. They know that god is judging them right now. No matter the pain or sacrifice, winning the game is all that matters. The experts came together to form the wall and showed support for their team. Therefore, before every game followers congregate together to paint their bodies. This is an opportunity to mimic the bonding that the experts go through during the game. Followers of the religion yearn to mimic the trance-state of the players by consuming the drink of the god.

Durkheim

Blitzanity’s sacred rules and understandings create an atmosphere at the communal gatherings –on game days and all other ritual ceremonies- to allow maximum attention to rooting for one’s team. It keeps the patrons’ focus on the ultimate goal of the championship. This way the rituals express our belief in maximum cheering for one’s team. A win for one’s team shows validation of the fans’ moral standards.

Berger

Berger is interested in the irony that the victor of “The Super Bowl” in Blitzanity is called the “World Champions” despite the fact that only teams from the United States compete for a spot in the Championship game. Berger attributes most of this to the US’s role as a world super power. Followers in Blitzanity try to connect themselves to in the divine in an extreme measure. By consuming Heinecoorsrona in order to reach that fanatical state that they say connect them to the gods they are trying to step outside of the microcosm and step into the macrocosm.

Segal

A religionist would look a Blitzanity in a way where its function is distinctively religious. They would say that Blitzanity is a religion where the ultimate goal of wanting to be like the Giants and even more so the divine is religious. By followers participating in the rituals they are attempting to prove that they can reach that divine level of competition of which they desire.
Social Scientists may have a differing opinion about Blitzanity. They say that Blitzanity is a religion that individuals in society use as a means of proving themselves to one another. They want to see who the better competitor is. This coincides with the notion of people proving who the better person in society is.

Otto and Eliade

Blitzanity demonstrates the notion of the sacred being separate or opposite of the profane. The religion does so in a few ways. In the division of experts and followers, the followers are the ordinary people of the culture where the experts are said to possess sacred talents which makes them so good on the field. Blitzanity can also be related to the idea of rationality and non-rationality. The culture considers the miraculous plays that occur in some games as non-rational events. These are the events where the higher beings take matters into their own hands.

Virabhadra and Zombies

Severe injuries which occur on the playing field inhibit the expert’s abilities to fulfill their calling to the game, as well as endanger the views of the fans, as they watch their favorite players all to afflictions beyond their control. Followers take extra precautions to ensure that injuries do not occur during the season including processions, tailgating, as well as the rituals of Pre-fanning, attaining the Fanatical state, and post Fanning. Some scholars find parallels between this practice and those of Hindus in their quest to appease the untimely dead.

When possessed, after consuming Heinecoorsoronna, the followers completely become embodied and removed from reality. However, some speculate that the followers adopt these characteristics as a device to fit in with their peers and meld with the crowd.

9-11

Certain coaches have expressed their disappointment in a decline in fan dedication which they believe has brought on the attacks of Sept. 11. There has be a cry for more moral upkeep during the week and to not let one’s support for a team only last the duration of the game. The attack on Sept. 11th broadened Blitzanity’s “world scope” reminding its followers that The US does not encompass the entire world therefore its standard of holding themselves as “World Champions” should be revised. On the internal scope of Blitzanity, there has been pressure taken off of the strict rules against inter-mingling of fans with other rivals teams’ fans and so on.

[edit] Glossary

Detoxing- the state of coming out of the intoxication period.

Draft- the process of selecting potential experts.

Experts- the selected few that are drafted and given the opportunity to demonstrate their strength and be judged by the Gods on the playing field.

Followers- those who are dedicated to football.

Heinecoorsoronna- the drink consumed by followers prior to a game which establishes a mental connection between the Gods and the experts. The drink is commonly associated with Ritual 1.

Holidays- the celebration of pivotal points in the football season such as The Super Bowl and The Draft.

Intoxication- the state of mind following the consumption of the Heinecoorsoronna.

Pre-Fanning- an event which occurs before the game in which followers consume Heinecoorsoronna.

Fanaticism- occurs before the game in which followers paint their bodies to prove their passion with hopes of helping their team succeed.

Win- declaration of proven strength and dedication through the judgment of the Gods.